i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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