Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
