i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The air was thick with penises
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
