I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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