these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize