I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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