We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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