Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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