I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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