Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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