Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
