I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
