she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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