I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
