Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize