using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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