I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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