No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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