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• (818): View more from California

  Jake died.

  (310): View more from California

  WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

  (818): View more from California

  Oops typo. Jake cried.

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• (310): View more from California

  Where are you???

  (210): View more from Texas

  With some dude on the way to his house to blaze

  (310): View more from California

  You went back to a stranger's house????

  (210): View more from Texas

  He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.

  (310): View more from California

  I love LA.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.

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• (661): View more from California

  Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that

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• (863): View more from Florida

  You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter

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