So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
