this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
