My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
