I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
