Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
