There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
