found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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