her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
