gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
