no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
