Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
