dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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