we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I have post one night stand depression
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