I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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