I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
