you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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