I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
