I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
