I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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