Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
