Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can I color on your dick again?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
