Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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