I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
