i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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