worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she smelled like a LAN party
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
