How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
