he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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