Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
