Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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