he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
