WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
