No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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