her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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