Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
