dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
