Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
