I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
