where am i from again
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
