I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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