There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
