It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
