Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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