i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
