So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
